What is Happily Ever After, after all?

Hey everyone!

Today I wanted to post an opinion piece on something that has been on my mind a lot: Happily Ever After. Just as a starting point, in 1950, happily ever after was pretty much one goal: a woman finds her dream man, watches him make money and succeed in his career while she plays the role of obedient housewife and keeps the family from splitting at the seams. But my only question, really, is why? Why did that have to be? Why does that have to be? The main theory I have to think, is from our mainstream social culture. You see it in fairytales. Movies. Books. Dolls. History. This summer, I have been doing lots of camp counseling, and I noticed something. As I was reading page after page of princess stories and Barbie Fairytales, I couldn’t help notice that each happily ever after ended with the prince asking for the princess’ (i.e. the most beautiful one) hand in marriage. Yes, it does sound nice, but to me, it seemed like the books were drilling it into the little girls’ heads that this was the only way to feel genuine happiness. It drives me crazy when things are so specific to one gender such as the color pink to girls, and baseball to boys. These books seem to be brainwashing girls (and boys) to fitting these stereotypes. As I talked about in a previous post, Some things aren’t meant to be shared, or are they?, my life certainly didn’t start out as a fairytale. Far from it. Let’s face it. I’m not going to have that dream wedding. My dad won’t walk me down the aisle. Or see me graduate. Or meet my children. I’ve come to terms with what I won’t have. And every once in a while, I cry. A real good hard cry. It’s not fair. He shouldn’t have died. I should have spent more time with him. I should have helped more. My mom shouldn’t have gone through that. She didn’t deserve any of it. Those are regrets. And I have lots of them. But they can’t bring him back. They can’t reverse the clock. But circumstances I have faced, no one else can understand. Let me tell you, it’s certainly hard to find some who lost their dad at age 7. Something about that makes me think about happily ever after. So what. I didn’t get their definition of “Happily Ever After.” That’s what so many people don’t realize. I am living in my defined “Happily Ever After.” My dad is my dad, and he always will be. I will never stop loving him. But if I know him, and I think I do, he would want me to go out there and go get everything I’ve ever wanted and then some. My dream one day is to be a female rights activist, and make speeches all over the world advocating for women and their needs. End gender inequality, and prove myself. Prove my happily ever after. Every day, I am trying something new. I am meeting so many wonderful people this year who make me so happy. They are just pieces of my Happily Ever After puzzle. I know I will run into people in the future, telling me what I’m doing is wrong. That I shouldn’t be standing up for women because they aren’t worthy of being stood up for. That, my friends, is called pressure. These stories put loads of pressure on girls and boys. That boys always have to ask girls out. Or for their hand in marriage. That girls should change their last names to their husbands because that is the family they “belong” to. Is that really all they think of us girls? That we’re some charity cases that are just looking for some place to belong? I say enough’s enough. Us girls need to stand up for ourselves! I’m begging you, we need to take a stand against stereotypes, and criticism, and out right discrimination! Also, I forgot to mention, who says boys always have to marry girls? Get over yourselves. It’s 2016 and people who are too scared to leave the comfort of 1965 get to have a say in who people love? I have been very impressed with Pope Francis so far. He has definitely  moved the Catholic church in a more progressive direction. But still, many people are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, and commit acts of violence (verbal and physical) as a way of stopping a Supreme Court approved law? I guess my point from my non-stop rambling is this: People’s Happily Ever Afters shouldn’t be determined by demeaning stereotypes that tell you who you should love, how you should live your life, and qualities you should possess in order to live “the life you’ve always wanted.” Even if you’re young, you can still make difference in issues around the globe. I guess this blog post is my little shout-out to the world, expressing how I feel in the only way I know how: writing. Thank you very much for reading this very rambly, but hopefully inspiring post. Please like (posts) and subscribe to my blog! Comment down below telling me how you feel about Happily Ever Afters being portrayed in our culture, and how you will take a stand. Also if you are feeling rambly and brave as well, tell me how you feel about a world issue that you feel is worthy talking about. I so enjoy writing these posts. I use writing as my voice in the world, and I think it helps lots of people who are still searching for theirs. I will be blogging again very soon!

Remember, this is a community of friendship and trust. If you decide to be a part of this journey on The Legally Brunette Blog, you have to be willing to trust, listen, care, grow, and not be afraid to show your silly side!!

Au Revoir!

-The Legally Brunette

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4 Comments

  1. thepetitepineapple

    Hi Legally Brunette!
    I love this post! It is so empowering and I bet Hillary Clinton would also love to read it! I like how you combined this post with your other post: Some things aren’t meant to be shared, or are they? About Happily Ever after….. The Florida incident (to go along with the LGBTQ+. In other places in Asia the woman keeps her full name or she combines it with the husband name. I agree about the woman and how she stays home and cooks and the man is successful, why can’t the woman take power??? To take a stand…. You could probably write a letter about it to the President, I mean that’s what I would do. I think a world issue is global warming- Here is a timeline:
    -2020= Europe will have increasing flash floods
    -2050=Glaciers will disappear, ocean acidification will kill coral reefs, 400 bird species could become endangered/extinct, world population will reach 9.4 billion
    -2070= Warmer, drier conditions will lead to droughts/longer fire seasons/heat waves
    -2080=Parts of the world will dry out, sea levels will rise around NYC (more then 3 ft.), about 2 billion people will experience water shortages
    Source:http://www.livescience.com/1433-timeline-earth-precarious-future.html

    Healthcare and sexuality are other issues too.

    I can’t wait till your next post!
    -TPP

    Liked by 1 person

  2. thelegallybrunetteblog

    Wow Petite Pineapple! I knew global warming was a big problem, but I didn’t realize that major climatic changes due to global warming could be going on during our lifetime. And yes! I hope Hillary Clinton sees this, but something tells me, the people who need to read things like this are people who are scared of the future, where different ethnicities can thrive, people can marry and love whomever they want, people of religions aren’t automatically thought of as violent or threats, and where our country can finally get some gosh darn gun-control! That is why I am encouraging people to write more pieces like this. Writing and media play very big roles in our society, and the more people that are exposed to this type of thinking that empowers women and people who have before been discriminated against or thought of as lesser. Thank you for sharing your comment and I’m glad you enjoyed this post!
    Sincerely,
    The LegallyBrunette❤️

    Like

  3. Sunshine and Shortbread

    I TOTALLY agree with what you are saying in this post! So many people feel that to make their lives good, they have to meet this stereotypical “dream life.” If people are happy to be who they are and love what they do and who they know, than they can be happy- they shouldn’t be thinking they still need to reach a certain point for them to have a “good life.” Your posts are so interesting to read and you do a great job on them! I can’t wait to see what’s next!

    -Sunshine and Shortbread

    P.S. For other world issues, I think climate change and LGBTQ+ rights are problems as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. thelegallybrunetteblog

    Sunshine and Shortbread-

    Thank you so much for your comment! We need more people talking about these issues. If we as a country continue turning our backs on reoccurring problems like these, nothing will ever be accomplished. Like I mentioned in a previous comment, we need to continue our fight! There will definitely be strong opinions out there, but scars don’t show defeat, they show we were stronger than whatever force that was trying to knock us down. Yes, there will always be problems in our country such as racial inequality, gender discrimination and homophobia, but nothing is stopping us from making the lives of people treated poorly better. Once again, thank you so much for reading my post and sharing your thoughts!
    Sincerely,
    The Legally Brunette

    Like

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